Jokes

What is it called when …

An astronaut doesn't get a pay raise?
Astro-naught

Astronauts compete" for a spot on a space mission?
Astro-fought

A couple seek a sperm donor who is an astronaut?
Astro-sought

An experienced astronaut mentors a younger one?
Astro-taught

Questions

Why can't astronauts trust the law of gravity?

Because it always lets you down.

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What is a planetarium?

A place where they grow plants.

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What does TANG (as in the drink) stand for?

Tastes awful no good.

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How many astronauts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. He holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.

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What is the difference between the 2008 and 2012 Obama presidential campaign?

In 2008 he promised the voters the full moon and in 2012 he is promising a quarter moon.

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What kind of government would restore democracy in the solar system?

A plutocracy.

Riddle Bookmark

Answer: the space bar

Creative Commons License. Used with permission

Artist has lots of library promotional artwork on her Flickr website. Flickr ID: Enokson

Miscellaneous Fun

Entropy isn't what it used to be.

Friction can be a drag sometimes

Inertia makes the world go round.

Going the speed of light is bad for your age

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law.

How far can you see on a clear day?
93 million miles — from here to the Sun.

What do human faces have in common with the moon ?
They are both not symmetrical.

Ian Parkes (Flickr ID: Parksk1964)

Creative Commons License

Some Jovial Jokes

What did Lady McBeth say when she was on Jupiter?
"Out damned spot".

What planet is found on a table?
Mercury - it is part of the scientific table.

What did the Martian order at the bar?
Betelgeuse.

What did the Martian drink at breakfast?
Green tea.

Santa Gets Lost Cartoon by spikeys_studio
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Astronomy Riddles (best in the universe!)

1. What has a dark side and a light side, and holds the universe together?
2. What are all around and made invisible by sunlight?
3. What lives above a star, but does not burn and has 11 friends that do not turn?
4. The higher it climbs the hotter it gets! What is it?
5. Where is a place where yesterday always follows today?
6. What did the astronaut say when asked his opinion of the asteroids?
7. What holds up the moon?
8. You feed it, it lives, you give it something to drink, it dies. What is it?
9. It passes before the sun and makes no shadow.
10. What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, the end of every place.

Astronomical Answers:
1) Duct Tape
2) Stars
3) The number 7 on a touch-tone phone.
4) Mercury.
5) The Dictionary.
6) "No Comet!"
7) Moonbeams.
8) Fire.
9) Wind.
10) The letter E.

Source: website www.littlegemspaper.com

Pun Fun

What do you call an astronaut who forgot to go to the toilet before the launch?
Astro-ought.

If there was water on Mars and an astronaut caught a fish, what would the fish be called?
Astro-caught.

What do you call a robot in space?
A Robonaut.

What do space tourists wear on their mega expensive flights?
Astro-haught suits.

What do you call a rich person who paid for a trip to space?
Astro-bought.

What do you call space fleas?
Lunar-tics.

What do you call an space insect?
Astro-gnat.